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“barrel of bricks”

Long-term care is one of those unexpected expenses everyone should plan for but few people actually do.

Consider this humorous accident report from someone who should have considered long-term care sooner.

I am writing in response to your request for additional information on my accident report.  In block number three of the accident reporting form I wrote, “Trying to do the job alone,” as the cause of my accident.  You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade.  On the day of the accident I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building.  When I completed my work I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of brick left over.  Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which fortunately was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out, and loaded the bricks into it.  Then I went back to the ground level and untied the rope, holding tightly to it to ensure a slow decent of the 500 pounds of brick.  You will note in block eleven of the accident report that I weigh 135 pounds.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope.  Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor I met the barrel coming down.  This explains the fractured skull and broken collarbone.

Slowing down slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.  Fortunately, by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope in spite of my pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel.  Devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel now weighed approximately 50 pounds.  I refer you again to my weight in block eleven.  As you might imagine, I began a rapid decent down the side of the building.  In the vicinity of the third floor I met the barrel coming up.  This accounts for the two fractured ankles and the lacerations of my legs and lower body.

The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto a pile of bricks and, fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the bricks in pain, unable to stand, and watching the empty barrel six stories above me I again lost my presence of mind.  I let go of the rope.

Moral of this tale:  It doesn’t pay to try to do the job alone.

Maybe you should take a serious look at long-term care now to prepare for the time when you or your loved ones might need it.  I can help you evaluate your options and needs to avoid your “barrel of bricks.”